If we are creators of our reality, it is clear that most of the time we unconsciously create, and this lack of knowledge of what we do and the consequences of our actions generates within us the belief that we are a victim of what is external to us.
Everyone will then implement – very unconsciously – a defence strategy in response to what they believe to be an attack. This strategy is an automatism that is implemented not since early childhood, but long before, when the individual develops in the maternal womb. When I tell you that all this is very unconscious! Thus, the individual will repeat this strategy throughout his life until he becomes aware of what is at stake in him and himself.
Because there are few people who naturally practice introspection and the innate taste of self-exploration, most of us need an external event to offer this saving awareness. Sometimes, often even, a single event is insufficient. The individual persists – again always very unconsciously. Then there is another event. Then another one, with a greater intensity than the previous one. This is by no means bad luck. On the contrary! Life simply puts at our disposal the opportunity to take charge of ourselves, to take responsibility for our actions in order to become fully – and in all conscience this time – actor/actress of our reality. I am speaking here of Life not as an external reality to us and I remind you that each of us is Life.
I know a man who has accumulated head trauma until the last one which rather than being fatal to him has definitely opened his eyes. This man understood that the existence he was leading did not correspond in any way to the aspirations that animate him and he made the choice to undertake a work on himself. His life today is very different from the previous one and he tells anyone who wants to listen to him that he finally knows the happiness he had always wanted for himself.
I know an 18-year-old girl who is looking for freedom, but who is so scared of what she wants, that she accumulates destructive behaviours and exhausts her physical health faster than she would like - if she were aware of it - to do so. Today, her condition is getting worse and she runs the risk of never living her dreams. Instead of discovering freedom, she locks herself in her body and takes as a hostage her mother who finds herself powerless to save her child.
I know a middle-aged woman who is unhappy in all the romantic relationships she has known and still knows because she always attracts the same type of abusive, disrespectful man who is unable to engage in a couple’s life. As long as this woman refuses to undertake work on herself, on what drives her, on the avoidance strategy she has put in place, she will never experience the joy of a satisfying, nourishing and fulfilling relationship.
Is there any way to do otherwise? Of course! Fatality exists only for those who indulge – again often unconsciously – in a status of victim. However, if becoming aware is a first step, changing your behaviours to reflect what drives you is a second step. Nature being what it is, any change – because it leads us into the unknown – generates a certain amount of fear. Here again, if we all have the same value, we are not all equal in facing the challenges, because if fear is stimulating for some, it can be blocking for others. In any case, remember that solutions exist and dare to leave your comfort zone at your own pace and in your own way.
Observing the interactions of the beings around me is one of my great passions – and probably also an innate behavior. I find that through quiet, silent observation, with no expectation of results and no cookie-cutter judgment, I gather a myriad of interesting information.
I so observed and learned many years ago, and at my own expense, that the manipulator was seldom the one who boasted about it. Conversely, the manipulator often tends to position himself in the role of the victim, he never assumes responsibility for what happens to him.
I had been thrown into the bath with my spawner (what a nice metaphor, wasn’t it?) who had understood that I was a sensitive child, potentially impressionable and therefore manipulable at will. She had taught me to be wary of everyone except herself. Of course! Naive, I believed in fairy tales in which all mothers acted in the interest of their children, loved them and protected them against everything/all. But life – and my taste for observation and analysis – forced me to see that one of my mother’s favorite behaviors was to do everything in her power to isolate me from the Others and I still remember that sentence how murderous she had one day pronounced: 'You don’t need other people, you have your mom, and that’s good enough for you.' I also remember how she used to denigrate me when we were alone and tell me how mean, lazy and incapable I was, how she made me feel guilty and told me that I was selfish because I thought of myself rather than her, how she sowed in me the fear of the Other to prevent me from going towards him because she would have felt abandoned.
When the time came to build my life, like everyone else, I unconsciously repeated the pattern of the home I had grown up in, and so I – always very unconsciously – chose to couple myself with a man who was acting like my mother. He also tried to cut me off from any personal friendships while he stacked them up. From the very beginning of our relationship, this partner had almost made me believe that I had a psychiatric problem, a mental illness, that I was crazy and that I had to be put on medication. I still remember his little mocking smiles when I came out of my hinges, proving to him – as he said – that he was right: I was completely insane. I also remember his innocent look and the victim’s position he took when we were in public. Then one day, quite early, I was barely in my 20s, I remember that the behaviour of this man had pushed me to make the decision to consult a psychologist. Then another one. Then another one. Again and again... It was a great deal of good for me, because these numerous meetings allowed me to deepen my knowledge of myself, of my way of working, and of human nature.
I have since and over time developed a very special reserve for people who complain all the time and claim to be victims of others or events. As I mentioned earlier, the manipulator is rarely the one who recognizes being one. However, profoundly human or completely naive, I have always found and still find excuses for the manipulators and I claim that they are more to complain than to blame, I want to believe that they don't know what they are doing since for them, in their reality, their behavior is a natural defensive behavior. But even though I'm able to understand, that does not mean that I must accept to undergo these manipulations.
For more than a year now, such a manipulator has been part of my physical environment. By that I mean that this person is not connected to me remotely, through a computer. I had the opportunity to approach this person closely and begin a friendly relationship with him. But one day, under the effect of intense stress, this individual revealed his true face and I immediately cut short any link with him. Today, far, I am watching this person’s manipulative behaviour on his entourage. I admit that I find this fascinating. Incomprehensible, but still fascinating. Fortunately, taking a distance allows us to move away from a danger and thus take another look at it. And when we change our perspective on a person or situation, we then become able to change our behaviour by taking actions that are more suited to our basic security needs.
As difficult as the beginning of my life journey may have been, I am nevertheless grateful to have experienced it. So I thank all the manipulators I met, because thanks to them, I questioned myself and human relations. I also thank all the therapists I met, because thanks to them, I have opened my eyes to myself and to human relationships. Taking a step back from the external events that mark our life and delving into our emotions, wounds and belief system is the only way to stop undergoing your life and become a full actor/actress of it.
If emotions are an integral part of the experience of incarnation and it is therefore futile to try to ignore them, if emotions colour life and make us vibrate, there are other energies, more subtle, that make us vibrate even more.
Emotions are animated by intense energies which no conscious mind, however powerful it is, is capable of containing. In the short, medium or long term and depending on the experience of each, any emotional repression will inevitably cause you to lose the North and you will unconsciously directed the energy either internally and resulting in the manifestation of an illness (mental or physical) or outwardly and that could harm your relationship to the world.
It is therefore healthy to express one’s emotions in order to prevent them from accumulating and thickening the mental-emotional barrier, because it is the thickening of this barrier which is at the origin of the fanciful interpretations that most of us have of Reality.
An emotion cannot be controlled. An emotion cannot be mastered. An emotion is guided. This is the first and indispensable step if you want to grow the power and efficiency of your rituals.
If you are walking in consciousness on a spiritual path and that path makes you interested in esoteric practices, perhaps you will have surfed on the NET and you found a thousand and one tips on the best shamanic or witch technique you will have to acquire to become a master. I have read and read again that this so-called best technique is to load your ritual with all the emotion that you hold within you.
Know then that this technique only serves to free you from your emotional overflow. This is in itself a good thing, but this is not enough to grow the power and efficiency of your rituals. It is also for this reason that you need to regularly repeat your ritual. Repetition is a way of reprogramming yourself and reprogramming is a fundamental mistake that makes you believe that you need to become someone that you are not. Therefore, any repetition of the ritual will cause you to stagnate in the first step for a duration of which no one can predict the length and this stagnation will generate in you ever more emotions that, rather than elevating you, will keep you in the belief that you are incapable of creating your reality and accessing the Happiness to which you are rightfully entitled.
Then one day, you feel that the time has come to progress. Progress is in the course of things, it is part of evolution and if you agree to follow the natural movement of life which is to make you grow, if you throw overboard all the old beliefs that you believed in and that are still unconsciously conveyed by the mass, you then grow towards consciousness (in the meaning feeling and not the intellectual sense of the term) that you have the creative power that you have most likely heard about, but never really experienced. Here you are approaching the second step of the process which is to contact the energy beyond the emotion and therefore beyond the conscious mind, in a place where duality no longer divides, but is complemented with a single goal: to serve the power and efficiency of the ritual.
Contact this energy beyond emotion has nothing to do with what is commonly called meditation, the purpose of which is to annihilate the ego. Thus even if it is not the one who directs, your ego has a role to play in esoteric practice and in any other spiritual process. Contact this energy beyond emotion is to cross the mental-emotional barrier while using the energy it generates to focus on the intention of your ritual. Here, quantity is not synonymous with quality and therefore, the thinner the mental-emotional barrier is, the more powerful and sharp it is like the tip of an arrow would be. In this case, you understand that it is totally useless to repeat your ritual, a single sharp arrow is enough to reach the center of the target.
Hold on because August is a pivotal month (and October will be next), I’ve already told some of you. We are always free to make choices, whatever they may be, but if the choices we make are no longer according to our personal evolution, the Life we embody takes charge of setting us straight. For me, it is essentially physical health that suffers and my body tells me how much I have done anything and mistreated it all these years. The question is simple: in what state do I want to continue my earthly existence? In good health or in pain and suffering? Personally, I have chosen and this choice inevitably leads to a clean slate of old behaviors. So it’s new, new stuff that I’ve already had a glimpse of in the past, like a taste of what my life would be like by definitely adopting these naturally unusual behaviours for me.
This is what it is all about for all of us: changing habits that we unconsciously adopted in response to the situations we were facing. Today and because we have a certain level of consciousness, we are offered TO ACT and no longer to REACT as we would automatically do. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either. Let us then gather in each one of us qualities that we have and that only ask to emerge: WILL and BENEVOLENCE, DETERMINATION and GENTLENESS, PATIENCE and FAITH...
Some people are naturally structured, while others need to make plans to avoid being overwhelmed by the flood of information that we receive every day.
Making a plan or being structured has the effect of channeling the flow of emotions while leaving that flow and those emotions intact, it means that the flow as well as the emotions will retain their strength and power, but rather than paralyze the person, the structure will teach him/her to guide (and not to control) the flow as much as the emotions.
A guided emotion is at the origin of a great creativity while a controlled emotion is against the perpetual movement of Life. And if we go even further in the energy understanding, an anarchic emotion, it means a not guided one, has the power to destroy rather than build.
It is an exciting alchemy that happens in us at every moment. We are multidimensional beings, we are composed and evolve in various dimensions: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, but also social, cultural, temporal, etc. The art of happiness or Hozho – a word that means harmony in the Navajo language – is to be constantly at the centre of all these dimensions in a perfect and always moving balance resulting from all the manifestations of these dimensions that compose us.
I won't dwell on the symbolism of the structure that is linked to the Masculine, procreator, spirit, spiritual, etc. just as I will not dig into the symbolism of the emotions that are linked to the Feminine, creator, material, etc. I leave it to you to explore these symbols and other archetypes at your own pace and according to your desire for the moment.
All of our life is conditioned by our system of beliefs and some of them carry us towards fulfilment while others limit or even freeze us. In short, our reality, our world view, flows directly from our belief system.
The good news is that a belief can be transformed. The least good news – regardless of the hardcore of reason – is that the will of the conscious mind is not enough to transform a belief simply because most of them are firmly anchored in the deepest layers of our subconscious.
Some of our beliefs are rooted in the results we derive from lived experiences (both unhappy and happy) while others – those that are more difficult to transmute – come not from our personal experience but from the education received and the socio-cultural environment in which we are born and grow up.
Fan of non-ordinary psychic experiences, I personally tried the one of living without beliefs. Interesting experience with however extreme accents that I recommend to no one and whose result was that it seems impossible to live without beliefs. Moreover, when the skeptics of antiquity pretended to suspend their judgment on everything, Aristotle invited them to remind that they did not go for a walk on the edge of a precipice on a day of strong wind.
Your belief system has only a value for yourself, and if you are at peace with it, you have no need to claim it or seek external approval nor try to impose it on someone else. So… where are you on your belief system?
At any time, Life offers us an opportunity to open our consciousness and broaden our vision, allowing us to grow. Let me tell you about my experience this morning.
Several weeks ago, a person had contacted me by email and wrote: "Marushka, I feel lost, I need you to help me find myself". After various exchanges of messages, this gentleman ended up taking an appointment for a 4-hour session in nature, during which I intended to transmit shamanic techniques to allowing him to find himself while acquiring more autonomy. We agreed on a date, a schedule and a place to meet.
This morning, therefore, I went to the appointment, constantly repeating to my assistant: "This man is not ready. He would consciously find himself back, but he still hesitates. He won't come". We waited half an hour and he didn't come.
Back home, I turn on my computer and check my mailbox. I discover a message that had been sent to me at 10:03: "Marushka, I will be there in 30 minutes". However, we had an appointment at 9:45. I replied to this person and received a second message: "I can’t find our meeting place". I answered a second time before closing my mailbox for the day.
This short adventure illustrates perfectly the inner state that this gentleman lives in and of which he is aware as he admits to being lost. The next step would be to observe how the fact of being lost affects his daily life. In today example, this man goes to an appointment without having previously inquired about the situation of the place where he was to go. So he misses his appointment and I imagine that his daily life is currently punctuated by various other missed acts.
When we experience the feeling of being lost, this perdition manifests on the outside and nothing seems to work in our life. We are no longer connected to our inner compass and we are exhausted in trying to concretely manifest objectives that are not based on any of our internal foundations.
Observing allows us to take note of what is happening and offers us the opportunity for real change. There’s nothing to look for, because it’s already there. When we are in search of a purpose, we focus on it and make ourselves unavailable for all the other daily teachings. To find oneself, to find oneself back, begins already by observing oneself.
When we are in relationship with one person, we are not two, we are three. Us, the Other and the relationship. I conscientiously choose to remain very down-to-earth in this post and therefore intentionally ignore the ancestral lineages and the fact that we are all entangled and intertwined.
A person asked me this morning about a situation that he is experiencing: "Marushka, if I ask Heaven to support me in my desire to go into such a relationship, would that I mean that I manipulate the Other?"
Here is my answer:
"I invite you not to ask Heaven to make you go into such a relationship, I invite you instead to ask Heaven and Earth - as we are incarnated - that they support you in your desire AND your need to manifest Love in you and for you, because you know that you only by able to love the Other if you love yourself first. It is therefore here not a question of manipulating the Other or the relationship, but indeed of guiding the Other towards Love of himself through the experience of the relationship. Guiding is not manipulation. If you guide, you invite the Other and he is free to follow you… or not. If you manipulate, you force the Other, you submit him and he has no choice but to do what you order. Manipulating requires a considerable amount of energy from the manipulator to manifest what he desires and which is sometimes very far from what he needs, while guidance is done naturally, being himself and therefore without having to do anything special."
A lighthouse radiates its light and allows boats not to get lost or run aground. The captain of the ship is free to look for that light and take it into account, just as he is free to turn away from it. The lighthouse does not worry about the captain’s choice, it is not responsible for the fate of the boat, its sole responsibility is to radiate its light.
Some anthropologists argue that original shamans were women, long before men were initiated. This may be explained by the fact that a woman, because of her sensitivity, has a more intuitive perception, less rationalized than a man. In some tribes, however, and all over the world, women no longer have the right to express their true power. The mystery the woman embodies still and always seems to frighten the ancient man. And this is still happening in 2021, in the West.
The mental is never far away, nourished by hidden emotions not yet known and/or recognized. It is therefore essential to express these emotions so that the energy of Life can again flow freely within us and around us. The old behaviours are still often, and very unconsciously, repeated by both women and men. Women still tend to submit or vice versa to submit the man while he is divided between understanding the woman and submitting her, as he has done for millennia.
When will we finally integrate, beyond the fine discourses derived from the theories of the mental, that women and men are perfectly complementary, that the competences of both have the same value? When will we finally walk, work together, one with the other and not one against the other, animated by our respective fears? When will we finally understand that duality, that our differences are an engine and not an obstacle?
Let us look around us and especially in ourselves. Let us see with the eyes of the soul and perceive the veils of our own illusions. We are all human, we are all on the way and above all, let us see what is, without judgment or expectation in order to continue to trance-form ourselves so that, when the time comes, transmutation, alchemy operates in us...
According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, Fear is the Mother of all emotions, that is to say that we enter into reaction to an external event because a fear has been, even very unconsciously, felt.
Fear is therefore an engine since it makes us react.
BUT... if we react, we are no longer the active actor of our life and we then become a passive spectator or a sheep. Fear takes us in, blinds us and tossed by it, we let ourselves be guided by any shepherd.
Fear, Mother of all emotions, will express itself in different ways according to the dominant energy that each unconsciously carries in him. Some will express anger and if anger swells without being controlled, it will become hatred. Others will express sadness and if the sadness swells without being controlled, it will become melancholy. Still others will express joy and if the joy swells without being controlled, it will become hysteria. The latter will finally express indifference and the belief that they feel no emotion, those are the ones who are afraid of being afraid and who choose to disembowel themselves by imagining that they will not suffer. These are the ones whose mind is in control and they then experience the painful experience of obsessive thoughts.