When we are in relationship with one person, we are not two, we are three. Us, the Other and the relationship. I conscientiously choose to remain very down-to-earth in this post and therefore intentionally ignore the ancestral lineages and the fact that we are all entangled and intertwined.
A person asked me this morning about a situation that he is experiencing: "Marushka, if I ask Heaven to support me in my desire to go into such a relationship, would that I mean that I manipulate the Other?"
Here is my answer:
"I invite you not to ask Heaven to make you go into such a relationship, I invite you instead to ask Heaven and Earth - as we are incarnated - that they support you in your desire AND your need to manifest Love in you and for you, because you know that you only by able to love the Other if you love yourself first. It is therefore here not a question of manipulating the Other or the relationship, but indeed of guiding the Other towards Love of himself through the experience of the relationship. Guiding is not manipulation. If you guide, you invite the Other and he is free to follow you… or not. If you manipulate, you force the Other, you submit him and he has no choice but to do what you order. Manipulating requires a considerable amount of energy from the manipulator to manifest what he desires and which is sometimes very far from what he needs, while guidance is done naturally, being himself and therefore without having to do anything special."
A lighthouse radiates its light and allows boats not to get lost or run aground. The captain of the ship is free to look for that light and take it into account, just as he is free to turn away from it. The lighthouse does not worry about the captain’s choice, it is not responsible for the fate of the boat, its sole responsibility is to radiate its light.