If we are creators of our reality, it is clear that most of the time we unconsciously create, and this lack of knowledge of what we do and the consequences of our actions generates within us the belief that we are a victim of what is external to us.
Everyone will then implement – very unconsciously – a defence strategy in response to what they believe to be an attack. This strategy is an automatism that is implemented not since early childhood, but long before, when the individual develops in the maternal womb. When I tell you that all this is very unconscious! Thus, the individual will repeat this strategy throughout his life until he becomes aware of what is at stake in him and himself.
Because there are few people who naturally practice introspection and the innate taste of self-exploration, most of us need an external event to offer this saving awareness. Sometimes, often even, a single event is insufficient. The individual persists – again always very unconsciously. Then there is another event. Then another one, with a greater intensity than the previous one. This is by no means bad luck. On the contrary! Life simply puts at our disposal the opportunity to take charge of ourselves, to take responsibility for our actions in order to become fully – and in all conscience this time – actor/actress of our reality. I am speaking here of Life not as an external reality to us and I remind you that each of us is Life.
I know a man who has accumulated head trauma until the last one which rather than being fatal to him has definitely opened his eyes. This man understood that the existence he was leading did not correspond in any way to the aspirations that animate him and he made the choice to undertake a work on himself. His life today is very different from the previous one and he tells anyone who wants to listen to him that he finally knows the happiness he had always wanted for himself.
I know an 18-year-old girl who is looking for freedom, but who is so scared of what she wants, that she accumulates destructive behaviours and exhausts her physical health faster than she would like - if she were aware of it - to do so. Today, her condition is getting worse and she runs the risk of never living her dreams. Instead of discovering freedom, she locks herself in her body and takes as a hostage her mother who finds herself powerless to save her child.
I know a middle-aged woman who is unhappy in all the romantic relationships she has known and still knows because she always attracts the same type of abusive, disrespectful man who is unable to engage in a couple’s life. As long as this woman refuses to undertake work on herself, on what drives her, on the avoidance strategy she has put in place, she will never experience the joy of a satisfying, nourishing and fulfilling relationship.
Is there any way to do otherwise? Of course! Fatality exists only for those who indulge – again often unconsciously – in a status of victim. However, if becoming aware is a first step, changing your behaviours to reflect what drives you is a second step. Nature being what it is, any change – because it leads us into the unknown – generates a certain amount of fear. Here again, if we all have the same value, we are not all equal in facing the challenges, because if fear is stimulating for some, it can be blocking for others. In any case, remember that solutions exist and dare to leave your comfort zone at your own pace and in your own way.